About NVR
NVR was developed by the team around Prof. Haim Omer at the University of Tel Aviv in the late nineties and early two-thousands; it specifically targets aggressive, harmful, anti-social, dangerous or self-destructive behaviour by children and adolescents (Omer, 2021; Omer and Lebowitz, 2016).
NVR is evidenced based. It’s efficacy has been demonstrated in randomised controlled studies in real life situations, including for children who are looked after in care (van Holen et al, 2018; van Holen, Omer & Vanderfaillie, 2016). The experience of carers using NVR in residential services for looked after children has also been investigated and demonstrated to be positive (MacKinnon, Jakob and Kustner, 2023).
Development of NVR
The development of NVR was taken one step further in the UK by Peter Jakob, one of the two Partners/Professional Leads in Connective Strength. He found it necessary to address the needs of young people and families who have had to endure high levels of adversity and abuse and face multiple challenges (Jakob, 2024; 2018). Having introduced NVR to the UK, Jakob developed this trauma-informed and child-focused way of working in NVR in response to the severe life challenges facing many families involved with statutory agencies. It fits closely with the remit of Children’s Services.
NVR starts where many other approaches fail to bring about the desired change. Parent education programmes, often provided by local authorities, can be very beneficial to many families. However, parents, young people and professional caregivers who are facing many complex challenges require individual attention and input. Here, educating parents and other caregivers about attachment processes, or training them in the use of reward schedules for desired child behaviour will fail. Instead, we work on a one-to-one basis to help parents or other caregivers to de-escalate, exert self-control and self-regulation and raise their presence in the life of the young person.
This combination of raising presence and becoming more self-regulated helps parents gain authority and give their child the guidance, structure and care they need. With the self-confidence they gain in the process, parents become more able to meet child needs that have hitherto been insufficiently met.
Raising Presence
What is parental presence? Rather than physically avoiding the young person for fear of angry repercussions, rather than avoiding giving their child guidance or setting boundaries, rather than communicating anxiety, rejection, hostility, seeming indifference, apathetic resignation, submissiveness, parents who become able to raise their presence increasingly enter the social environment of the young person, make their intentions felt, are more self-assured and assert themselves more calmly and confidently. Rather than escalating along with their child, they learn to communicate reassurance and strength – not only in words but in action, body language and manner. This is called the “anchoring function of attachment”. In these ways, they regain their role as central caregivers in the young person’s life. Instead of remaining socially isolated or engaging with dangerous other adults who threaten the integrity of the family, parents who increase their presence engage increasingly with a growing ecological support network of emotionally safe other adults. In doing so, they become less dependent on professional help. These are the three aspects of parental presence which we systematically work to build and facilitate: physical presence in the life of the child, embodied presence and systemic social presence. Change happens not by ‘doing to’ the child; change occurs in relationship.
Methods in NVR
There are of course many practical methods in NVR which are made available to parents. They give structure to the change process and enable us to facilitate transforming interpersonal processes. These are processes in which parents can experience their growing agency. Children become aware of their parents’ “other voices”: no longer escalating along with them, no longer acting with submission, no longer self-medicating with drugs or alcohol, coming across as more energetic rather that depressed and emotionally absent, children feel more anchored; their attachment becomes more secure.
High levels of trauma in these families need to be addressed if our NVR-based efforts are to bear fruit. We do this by using NVR in a trauma-focused manner which has been specifically developed for this purpose. We also integrate further therapeutic methodologies such as trauma-focused CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), so-called “grounding techniques” and, importantly, ReAttach is one of the most important methods which we integrate in the NVR process.
Kerry Shoesmith, another Partner and Professional Lead in Connective Strength, is the foremost practitioner and trainer in Re-Attach in the UK. She has trained all Connective Strength practitioners in the use of this method, which can be applied to parents and children alike – often in the presence of one another. Using arousal increase and decrease to support emotional self-regulation, learn to re-appraise their important interpersonal relationships and connect with their own personal resources, the NVR practitioner using ReAttach powerfully supports a process of learning self-regulation in the context of parent (caregiver) – child interaction.
Recent Publications on NVR by Dr Peter Jakob
Jakob, P. (2024). Nonviolent resistance in trauma-focused practice: a systemic approach to therapy and social care. London: Routledge.
Beckers, W., Jakob, P. & Schreiter, L. (2022). Imaginary methods in systemic therapy using nonviolent resistance: a sense of mattering and parental presence. Family Process 61(2), 507-519. Click here to access
Jakob, P. & ‘Sarah’ (2021). Beyond parenting: Therapeutic integration of non-violent resistance and narrative therapy. Context 175, 18-22.
Jakob, P. (2019). Child-focussed family therapy using nonviolent resistance: hearing the voice of need in the traumatised child. In E. Heismann, J. Jude & E. Day (eds.): Non-violent resistance innovations in practice. Brighton: Pavillion.
Jakob, P. (2018). Multi-stressed families, child violence and the larger system: an adaptation of the nonviolent model. Journal of Family Therapy 40, 25-44.
